Merry Christmas!

Dear Santa,

All I'd like for Christmas is a completed dissertation. Hope you and Mrs. Claus are well.

Love,
Anne

I hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas and that you and your loved ones are all happy and healthy!

Graduation Notes

Dallas and some other friends walked/got hooded at commencement, so a bunch of us went to the College of Science ceremony yesterday morning.  Some thoughts:

• Nobody quite understands how they come up with the list of names "graduates" published in the program.  If the student is actually there walking, I understand.  But the student that walked last semester, but didn't defend or file this semester?  Or the student who is a 5th year masters student whom nobody has seen in months?  I plan to walk next spring, but if I haven't actually defended by commencement, I won't walk unless I'm damn close to defending.
• Psychology is a recent addition to the College of Science.  I don't know what college they were under before (social sciences?), but they should be booted the hell out of CoS and back to wherever they came from.  This has nothing to do with whether or not I or anybody else thinks psych should be classified as science.  There are 23958203465 million psychology students, and their friends and family are FREAKING OBNOXIOUS at commencement.  For every other department there was polite to sometimes rowdy applause, a few yells maybe for students, but NOBODY wants to listen to prolonged screaming and yelling for all 23958203465 million psychology undergrads.
• Do not wear stripper heels to graduation.  Heels, if you can walk in them, sure.  Cute, colored, or even sparkly ones, sure.  But the stiletto heels with a 2" platform and 6" heel in bright red?  The point of getting a degree is so that you don't have to wear stripper heels.  I couldn't believe how many girls wore suuuper trashy shoes.

• At graduation here, each student's name and degree, along with a quote/message of their choosing is displayed on the screen as they cross the stage.  Most of these are some variation of thanking mom/dad/etc or a quote about education from some dead person.  One CS student proposed to his girlfriend!  There was a ton of cheering when people noticed it.  I was bummed the name reader didn't pause to get an answer!  I am generally opposed to public proposals, but that was pretty cute.

All ridiculousness aside - Congratulations, Grads!

Attention Getter

I made these cranberry-orange muffins for my committee meeting the other day.  It was a short meeting, but a fed and caffeinated committee is usually a happier committee.  After the meeting, my advisor took one with her, mentioning that she really loves cranberries.

Later that day I saw my advisor again at subgroup, and I swear she spent the first 15 minutes raving about some bakery on Broadway.  Seriously.  She went on, and on, and on about this thing they make and that thing they make, and they usually go this day because then they have these cinnamon rolls, and there's this giant case of little cookies, and a giant case of big cookies... It was a bit strange, but actually pretty funny to listen to The Queen go on like this.

Anyways, so the combination of comments made me think of this cranberry "pie" from the Pioneer Woman that I made last year, so I emailed her a link to the recipe.  Literally three (3!) minutes later I had a reply.  Seriously.  She doesn't reply that fast to emails about science or other lab stuff.  Heck, sometimes she doesn't ever reply.  Man.  Maybe I should send a recipe at the beginning of every email when I really need a reply?

6 months to go! (ish)

I had my six month meeting with my committee this morning.  I think it went well.  They all seemed on board with my plan - that the work I have left can be done in the next semester or so.  The only "concern" they had was whether my timeline factored in how long it takes The Queen to get around to reading things.  (As if she's actually going to read my dissertation... Ha!)

In my department, there is a TON of folklore surrounding the oral exam.  While everybody's oral is a little bit different, if you ask around at all, you can at least get a pretty good idea of the process and order of things.  However, there's essentially ZERO folklore regarding the 6 month meeting.  I was able to get some idea from Tiff and previous grad students, but still had to kind of sit there awkwardly til I had some direction.  While each professor cared more about one thing or another here's what was discussed:

• General overview of my research - My biochem committee members are actually fairly familiar with my research as I've heavily collaborated with them both.  One of my analytical committee members in particular is not terribly familiar with my research (and I suspect she also wants to see how competently you can briefly summarize your research).  So I talked briefly about the bigger picture and broader themes and goals of my dissertation research.
• Chapters - Generally what's in each of them and the major conclusions.
• What's left to do - This is a big one.  I think I've got my dissertation pretty well planned and outlined, but I know there will still be some surprises and gaps once I really get to writing.  One of my committee members really only cared about what work was left to do and was it do-able in the time frame I think.  In my case, I don't have many experiments left that I already know I have to do (although I do have a ton of data analysis left...), and I'm expecting some more experiments to pop up - I discover a hole in my story while writing, or that some spectrum I want to show has kinda crappy S/N etc.
• Publications - How many publications do you have?  How many are you first author on?  What's submitted/impreparation?  What else will or can be published?
• Timeline - When do you think you'll be done?  When do you plan to finish labwork?  When is your final seminar scheduled?  When do you plan to defend?  Do you need to file in time to have your degree posted by May 2012?
• What's next? - The dreaded question I very much hoped to avoid.  I was SO close to escaping without talking about it when one of my committee members asked.  This particular committee member happens to know about the cross-country-boyfriend situation, and I swear she asks ALL THE TIME what I'm doing after graduation, like to the point where it's weird.  But anyways.  I told them I needed a job.  You know, somebody to pay me.  At which point one of my committee members interjected, "Wait!  What is this? An unemployed mass spectrometrist?!  That's unheard of!"  Fortunately my advisor told her I hadn't really started looking, and the snarky committee member kept his mouth shut.  They let it drop and the meeting was over.

Woohoo!  They're gonna let me out!

Cafe Reviews for the Dissertation Writer, Volume 4

Earlier this week Tiff and I worked at Cartel Coffee Lab.  In short, it was terrible.  The only place I won't go back to work.

There were still a couple pros/neat aspects:

• They had a really neat/funky table arrangement.  Two tall, pretty big tables near each other, but rather than having separate seats for each table, the space in between was occupied by what looked like a lower table.  It was like two benches joined together for a shared seating space.  There were normal bar stool type seats on the outer sides of the tables.  I thought they were kinda cool.  They had normal tables/chairs and bar/bar stool seating if that's too weird for you.
• It's near home for Tiff
• Real dishes, by now you all know how I love real dishes.
• Free wifi (when you ask for the password when you buy something...)
• It wasn't crowded, so there was plenty of space to work and plenty of tables available, though when you see the con list you might understand why.

Cons:

• The drinks were totally overpriced.  The small drink, was VERY SMALL.
• My VERY small hot chocolate was barely lukewarm.
• The menu was VERY limited.
• There was essentially no food.  Certainly none worth eating.  All they had was a basket of bagels, presumably leftover from that morning.
• The cafe itself was cold.  I don't want to have to wear my coat all night just to not freeze!  Not to mention my wet rain jacket isn't going to do all that much to keep me warm.
• The background music was way too loud - definitely louder than at other cafes.
• It's also super annoying when the barista's loud and obnoxious friends decide to come visit her at work.
• And it's only open til 10!  Assuming I've been able to sleep more than a few hours/night for the past 2 weeks and aren't dozing off left and right, I probably hit a good, productive stride around 9, and you're going to kick me out at 10??

Sorry, Cartel.  I won't be back.

Cafe Reviews for the Dissertation Writer, Volume 3

Last week Tiff and I had our dissertation date at Epic Cafe, just around the corner from where I live.  Here's the breakdown, with perhaps more commentary than usual, because once again, I'm waiting on spectra to acquire:

Pros

• Free wifi - though should this really be on the "pro" list?  I mean, what cafe doesn't have free wifi?  I probably wouldn't bother working at any place that didn't.  I guess I'll keep putting it.  Just in case we ever work somewhere about which I have nothing else nice to say?
• Real dishes - this isn't just me being a green/hippie freak.  I genuinely prefer real dishes to disposable.
• Epic has lots of food, including meal-worthy food (sandwiches and pasta salads and soups and such), not just sweets/snacks.
• Walking distance of work and home - this is literally like a 2 minute walk from home.  It would be hard to be closer to home.
• Local business
• Non-distracting music
• Couches!
• Super foamy hot chocolate deliciousness
• They'll reheat your drink when it gets cool before you finish it. :)

Cons

• It was quiet when I got there, but became really loud.  Like REALLY loud.  Considerably louder than Starbucks.
• A lot of their sweets are vegan.  Baked goods are meant to have butter and eggs.  I'm sorry, but vegan baked goods taste like crap.
• The couches and tables not at compatible working height.  If I sat on my feet I was at an ok height to work at the table, but if I sat on my butt I was too low to comfortable work with my laptop on the table.
• A lot of the tables are VERY close together.  Seriously.  No more than a foot.  I had to turn sideways and slide between them. This can be quite awkward when the couple next to you is having a conversation not meant to be had in public, or when the crazy old man next to you notices that you're doing Science.  Which brings me to a story.

So the crazy old man sitting next to me at some point looks over and realizes that I'm doing Science (I was putting a zillion little colored dots on a spectrum to label the peaks.), and asked if I was doing psychology.  Not sure how you get psychology out of that, but then he starts rambling about a psychology degree that he finished in 2007 (coincidentally, the same year I graduated from college, and this guy had to be at least 70).  Then he starts talking about some college algebra class he took in 1964.  I'm mostly smiling and nodding, because what else do you do?  You can't ignore a man talking to you from the table 12 inches away.

Eventually he leaves, telling me and Tiff that it'll all be worth it.  We reply that we certainly hope so.  (Really, really, really hope so.  There are a lot of days when I'm not remotely convinced.)

At this point the girl sitting at the table on the other side of Tiff asks if we're grad students.  She's not phased when I say yes.  After all, if she's an undergrad at U of A there's no way she hasn't had graduate students instructing far more than just her lab courses.  Then she asks what we're studying.  Tiff tells her we're both working on our dissertations for a PhD in chemistry.  Her reaction, given with a look of pity and horror:

"Fuuuuuuuuuuck."

:)

Cafe Reviews for the Dissertation Writer, Volume 2

Last week Tiff and I met for another dissertation date, this time at the Starbucks right by campus on University (as opposed to the one on campus in the bookstore, or the one about half a mile southeast of campus...).  I got the scoop on how her 6 month meeting went and worked on some more figures for my own.  Here's the breakdown for this dissertation writing venue:

Pros:

• Fireplaces!  A fireplace automatically makes a place homier and cozier and means automatic points in my book.
• Walking distance of home and campus
• Peppermint hot chocolate - my seasonal holiday hot beverage of choice :)
• Free wifi
• Decent food/snacks available in quantity and quality (though pretty much all sweet and definitely all overpriced)

Cons:

• No surprise, but the Starbucks right be campus was swarming with undergrads, some of whom were absurdly loud and annoying
• There are very few tables big enough for more than one person to work.  We got lucky this time.
• Definitely not local business (I'm generally in favor of supporting local businesses.)

While the fireplaces are a huge plus in my book, this wasn't my favorite place to work.  Though I think there's a good possibility that it could be quite nice as soon as the undergrads clear out for Christmas break.  Finals start tomorrow, so not much longer. :)

We've got another dissertation date tonight, though venue has yet to be decided...

6 months

It's scheduled.  I'm still half expecting somebody to say never mind, that's a bad time, and back out, but as of this afternoon my 6 month committee meeting will be in 2 weeks - December 14th.  I've gotten a decent amount of work done since Thanksgiving while I've been in PA, but it's a good thing my labmate and I have another figure-making date planned for Thursday night.  Her committee meeting is actually tomorrow, but there's obviously more work to be done after this meeting.  It'll be nice to get some more insider-scoop before my own meeting. :)

Eep!

Retraction

Ugh.  I just ran into one of my committee members (and E's advisor) in the hall, and he asked when I was trying to have my 6 month meeting.  And then said he probably couldn't make it (keep in mind I told him a FOUR DAY window, and the exact time of this ONE HOUR meeting has yet to be determined, and no, he isn't going to be out of town).  And then he asked if I had a job yet.  No.  And then he asked if I had a post-doc yet.  No, and I don't think I want one anymore.  And then he asked why I was having my 6 month meeting already if I didn't have a job or a post-doc lined up.

Because I CAN be done in the spring, so I WANT to be done in the spring, so I WILL be done in the spring.  Get me out of here now please!!!

Miscellaneous Graduation-Related Good News and a Cupcake

I had a meeting yesterday with The Queen, and she gave me the green light to schedule my 6 month meeting!  Woohoo!  My outline is done, and I have a list of all the figures I think I need, so it's time to get going on those figures.  She also ok'd the rearrangements I wanted for my committee - including replacing one of my originals, and keeping another of my originals even though she's moved to another university.

The new committee member I wanted agreed to do it, and should be available the week my out-of-town committee member will conveniently be in town.  So it's looking like this meeting will be sometime the week of December 12th.

A while back I asked my advisor if she minded if I did some of my dissertation writing remotely.  Remotely as in at Boyfriend's place in Pennsylvania.  She was pretty busy at the time, but her response was really quite snippy and non-positive, despite saying that was fine.  She instantly drew comparisons to a completely and utterly different situation that really weren't fair, and frankly a bit insulting.  Other labmates in far more similar situations have done what I have in mind with success and complete approval.  But whatever, I made plans to write from PA after both Thanksgiving and Christmas anyways (may as well combine trips east).  Yesterday during our meeting The Queen said (much more kindly and politely) that she really is ok with me writing from Pennsylvania, she's just feeling rather empty-nest-ish about my leaving.  For real, her term, not mine.  Funny, no?  I can certainly understand the sentiment though - there aren't exactly a plethora of capable and competent junior students.  She also said that another analytical faculty member, completely unsolicited, asked her what she was going to do when I left.  Surprising, but also pretty darn nice.

Several weeks ago E and I baked cookies for a friend's second year seminar (the first good one of the year! but that's a story for another time).  As Dallas' advisor was taking cookies, she asked, "What are we going to eat when you two leave??"  Another analytical prof said, "What?!  They're leaving?!"  I told Dallas' advisor not to worry, that it would be an opportunity for a division-wide diet.

Speaking of baked goods, yesterday was my labmate/officemate's birthday, so for the occasion I made these Toffee Crunch Cupcakes from Annie's Eats.  They're divine.

I'm off!  Headed to the east coast tomorrow for the next week!  Woohoo!  Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

Seminar Snoozer

So I went to a seminar earlier this afternoon, and it was actually a really excellent seminar.  The speaker was good, the data was good, her approach to science is good.  I was all great.

There's the one professor in my department who is notorious for falling asleep during seminars.  Seriously, it happens ALL THE TIME.  I'm pretty sure nobody's ever called him out on it because he's faculty emeritus at this point.  I'll admit that I sometimes doze off during seminars, however, when I do, I don't have the audacity to ask a question at the end.  This man ALWAYS asks a question, and it always falls into one of 4 categories.

• A reasonable question that very obviously refers to the first 5, maybe 10 minutes of the talk, which is generally concerning the broader implications or motivations for the research
• A completely irrelevant, off-the-wall question
• A question that was most definitely clearly and thoroughly addressed during the talk
• And rarest of all, a question that is actually totally relevant and insightful

Today's embarrassment fell into the 3rd category.  He asked a question that she must have spent at least 10 minutes discussing and explaining how they addressed the problem to validate their results.  GAH.  I really wish somebody would start their reply to him with, "Well, I've already discussed that, but briefly..."

It would be SO satisfying.

Cafe Reviews for the Dissertation Writer, Volume 1

So my friend/labmate/classmate and I met the other night for a dissertation-figure-making date at a cafe near campus.  We're both hoping to defend next spring, so we're looking to have our 6 month meetings in the next few weeks.  The 6 month meeting is meant to be a chance to assemble your committee a few to several months before you intend to defend, to update them on your research progress and make sure they think your plan and timeline are feasible.  It's pretty standard to have an outline of your dissertation, and tell your committee members what work you have left to do, but the Queen also expects us to have more or less all of our figures done, too.

Working by myself I can find plenty of things to distract me (the only time I'll gladly do ALL the dishes!), so working with somebody some of the time is probably a good idea.  Getting out of the house also gets me away from those tempting dishes and other distractions, and getting away from the office gets me away from the temptation to chat with people all day and from all the random people asking me to do stuff.

Since I'm pretty sure I'll be testing out every cafe (and maybe some bars? I could write with a beer just as well as with a cup of tea right? maybe?) in the area, I thought it could be fun to do little mini reviews.

We had our first figure-making date at Cafe Luce, right by campus, on a Tuesday evening.

Pros of Cafe Luce:

• Reasonably quiet, most other people were working too
• Tables were big enough for 2 people to work (or lots of space for me to spread out by myself!)
• Background music wasn't stuff I know, so it wasn't distracting
• Cozy
• Within walking distance of home and office
• Real dishes!
• Local business
• Free wifi

Cons (and there weren't many, other places have a lot of live up to):

• Not very big, I could see having trouble getting a table (There only 1 available indoors when I got there.  There were a bunch of tables outside, but it's getting pretty chilly to be sitting outside after dark now.)
• Pretty much zero food after the morning rush, just a handful of croissants wrapped up from the morning.  This wasn't a problem this time, though I could certainly see it being a problem in the future.

Stay tuned for the next installment of Cafe Reviews for the Dissertation Writer!

Meet Maurice

This is Maurice.  Everybody say, "Hi Maurice!"  He's still dressed.

He weights 19.94 pounds.  He did not actually cost $27.72.  He actually cost $11.76.

I swiped some gloves from lab.  I do not like raw meat.  Especially raw meat with wings and legs that tend to flap around.

Even the turkey-juice covered plastic is pretty gross.

Maurice!  You're indecent!

Bathtime begins.  Gross.  E's version of "helping" me with the turkey is to take lots of photos while laughing a lot.

So gross.

J will find this funny.

Still grossed out.

Do you know how awkward it is to manipulate a heavy, slimy, squishy, flappy bird in a very small sink?

Feathers.  Ick.  Seriously Jennie-O.  Do better.

The neck flap is soooooooo gross.  New profile picture?  Super flattering, right?

Finally got Maurice clean and into the brine bag.

Adding brine.  This is like spa treatment for a turkey.  Seriously, humans pay hundreds of dollars for almost the same thing.

Soaking.

Where Maurice will spend his last 24 hours before being dismembered.

27

Last week I turned 27.  Eep.  To make me feel better about it, E and I made this delicious Neapolitan Cake from Annie's Eats.  Ours wasn't quite as pretty, or, uh...level...as hers, but it was still tasty. :)

Squash Attack

This is a cushaw squash.  A.k.a. cushaw, a.k.a. cushaw pumpkin.  I had never seen, nor even heard of one of these things before we got one from our CSA share a couple weeks ago.  They're HUGE.  This was one of the smaller ones in the pile.  That wine bottle is for scale.

It is apparently very similar to pumpkin, and in fact commonly substituted in canned pumpkin, and used throughout the south to as if it were pumpkin to make pies and such.  The edible part is in fact quite like pumpkin, however the skin is MUCH tougher, and much more difficult to cut.

So I completely dropped the ball and didn't take pictures of the next couple steps.

• I removed the squash's guts and cut it into several big pieces (several inches by several inches) for roasting.  
• We lined a couple cookie sheets with tinfoil, loaded them up with squash pieces and roasted them at 375 degrees (400 would probably work too, but we had other stuff to do at 375 and 350), for probably a good hour.  You don't want to burn them, but the more cooked it is the easier it is to puree.  
• Once the roasted squash has cooled enough to handle, cut the actual fruit away from the outer rind.  The rind on the cushaw is much harder and more distinct from the inside than on a pumpkin - so this part was actually way easier than with pumpkin.
• Puree the squash a few pieces at a time until it's nice and smooth.  Cushaw is a little stringier than pumpkin (think spaghetti squash-esque, but not that bad), but it will puree down to a smooth consistency.  Eventually you wind up with a bowl full of orange stuff like this.

The puree can be frozen for many months (we've used frozen pumpkin puree almost a year later) and used whenever you want it for all sorts of yummy things.  We usually freeze it in 1 cup aliquots in sandwich sized ziplocks, which we then put into a gallon sized freezer ziplock.

 You can clean off the seeds to roast.  Toss them in a bit of olive oil and whatever seasoning you want (salt & pepper, cumin & cayenne, cinnamon & sugar, etc) before spreading on a cookie sheet to roast (400 degrees, just a few minutes, probably less than 10).  Cushaw squash have pretty seeds.  Much prettier than pumpkin. :)

The same goes for unicorns.

So, little sister gets an awful lot of press on this blog, to the point where you might not realize that I also have two brothers.  One brother, R, is three years younger than me (almost exactly - Mom was still in the hospital with him on my 3rd birthday).  He majored in philosophy, and fittingly, will argue with you over just about anything no matter how absurd.  The other brother is 6 1/2 years younger than me (Mom went into labor with him the night of my kindergarten graduation, shortly after I'd puked because I was just so excited about graduating from kindergarten), and is still in college, majoring in theater.

Yes, all four of us are REALLY different.

Anyways, a while back I had the following conversation (via text messages of course) with R a while back.  Keep in mind, we don't talk very often (like one year when I called to say happy birthday he replied with, "yeah, you too," and that was about the extent of the conversation), and this came totally out of nowhere.

R: What's your address? If i die you get everything.
Me: Huh?
R: I'm filling out insurance. [He just started a new (real!) job.] If i die you're in charge of burying me.  Just throw me in a dumpster and pocket the cash.  Funerals are an overrated and a rip off.
Me: Why not list mom and dad?  And can I donate your body to science instead?
R: You're secondary so if you want anything you have to bury them first.  And keep your witch doctors away from me.  I want to be burned on a pyre intact like achilles.
Me: So no organ donation then?
R: Who am I to interfere with god's plan?

[Sidenote.  My freshman year of college, my mother calls me up and starts the conversation with, "Your brother has broken my heart."  I'm thinking he did something really stupid, like get caught drinking, knock a girl up, etc.  Nope.  What did he do?  He decided not to be confirmed...]

Me: Since when do you believe in God?
R: I'm a reasonable person.  Billions believe in god. Could i then believe that god is nothing? The same goes for unicorns.

Conversations with Little Sister

Yesterday, via text message:

Little Sister (out of nowhere): I think we should match at xmas again this year...lets work on that
Me: Hahaha but it was funnier bc it was totally accidental last year.  i bought a gray dress the other day, but i have no idea if i'll wear it for christmas or not
Little Sister: It feels like xmas break right now...minus snow on the ground which is ironic bc a snow storm is the reason i'm out of school for a week
Me: Haha well what are you wearing for christmas?
Little Sister: Idk i'll let you know christmas eve eve bc thats usually when i decide
Me: Uh, yeah, matching is only gonna happen again by totally coincidence then
Little Sister: That's the best way to match!

Sooo...I'm supposed to read her mind when I'm packing to go home for Christmas...when she hasn't even made up her mind yet?


Later yesterday, again via text message:

Little Sister: Today i asked mom to get my phone out of my purse bc i was driving...she proceeded to take my wallet out and open it. is it too late to trade her in?
Me: On purpose or bc she's an idiot?
Little Sister: Hahahaha who would do that on purpose?
Me: A snoop?  Some parents would
Little Sister: Ohh haha well theres nothing important in my wallet...just my current school id in which i look like a cancer patient
Me: Uh, why do you look like a cancer patient? btw my bday package from [Boyfriend] weighs 2.1 lbs.  SO curiousssss
Little Sister: He weighed it? weell bc i was like i dont care its not in the yearbook so i had a messy [high school she attends] bun with a bandana tied on top...those pics r displayed on the bulletin board for student of the month, distinguished senior etc so hopefully i dont get recognized for those
Little Sister: When is his bday?
Me: I bet you will. [Really, she probably will.]  I have a tracking number and it says it weighs 2.1 lbs. his bday is sept 24. we were in the grand canyon.
Little Sister: Oh ok so he gets you a nice 2.1 lb mystery present and you get him a throwing up girlfriend whose feet he has to rub. i know whose present i'd pick.
Me: Well i also got him 3 space prints and framed them for his apt
Little Sister: Whats a space print? sounds nerdy
Me: Photos from apollo missions
Little Sister: Ohh thats cool. is he into that space stuff? thats a pretty classy apt decor
Me: Yeah, he really likes space stuff and his apt walls were super bare
Little Sister: Soo he likes space...and he works for john deere [not quite true]...id be willing to bet he has experimented with crop circles
Me (after a few minutes, during which I asked Boyfriend about this accusation): So apparently he sorta has.  he and his dad wrote [LAST NAME] into a rice field one year. [Boyfriend's dad farms rice & soybeans.]
Little Sister: Knew it!

Today, via Facebook chat:

Little Sister: Hey, you wanna know something?
Me (hesitantly): Sure
Little Sister: [Friend's] fish died Sunday
and came back to life Wednesday
right as they were about to flush it.
Me: Hahahahahahaha why'd they wait 3 days to flush it?
Little Sister: Well they had to wait til the power came back on bc they have well water
and also
it was just really hard for them
i mean it was their fish
garfunkel was family
Me: Is this the fish she got at the same time as you?
Little Sister: yesss
Me: whose name i can't remember...
Little Sister: Leopold
Me: Right. I was going to say leonard, but that's big bang theory.
how is leopold?
Little Sister: Still kickin
bc we put him in front of the fire
during the power outage
so he'd stay warm
Me: Hahaha that would be bad if his water froze
Little Sister: Yeah
dad was smarttt thinkin there
i gotta go i'm meeting [Friend] at the 99
bc mom and dad are out partying tonight
and we have no food bc of the storm
Me: out partying?
Little Sister: at a dinner for church's 50th
at a golf club
or something
idk
something like that

Caramel Apple Cupcakes

Totally delicious.  Like "marriage-and-babies-worthy" kind of delicious according to the weird scale some of the guys in my department use to evaluate baked goods.

These cupcakes are from Baked Perfection - an apple cupcake with a caramel Swiss buttercream.  I was soooo psyched to finally conquer the Swiss buttercream.  It's an egg white and butter based frosting, and it can be really tricky to keep the egg white and the butter from separating into this nasty looking chunky stuff.  The key seems to be to have a negligible difference in temperature between the two - they both really need to be at room temp.  But this time it worked, and came together beautifully.  I'm thinking a stand mixer really is key here - my arm would die LONG before I'd ever get this to come together with a hand mixer.

We used Halloween as an excuse to make these (as well as these ridiculously adorable candy corn shaped sugar cookies), and went reverse trick or treating around the department this afternoon.  It's pretty funny how excited junior faculty get for cupcakes. :P

A strawberry version of this frosting is going to be attempted for my birthday cake in a couple weeks... :)

Butter & Flour

So do you guys remember a while ago when I bought a holy ton of flour?  And then not too long after that I bought crap ton of butter?  Well.  Butter's on sale again.  And not like 30 cents off either.  Like a whole $1 off each box.  With the amount of baking E and I do that really adds up.  This actually comes at a convenient time as I was down to a half pound of unsalted butter and two and a half pounds of salted butter (at least a pound of which was obtained separately from the last time I stocked up).

E and I both stocked up on butter.  I got 20 lbs.  I'm not kidding.  The holidays are coming, and butter freezes just fine, and this should last me many months, maybe even til graduation?  We'll see.

Here's E's freezer full of butter. :)

For the record, I'm down to about 5 lbs of flour...seems it's getting to be time to stock up on flour again, too. :)

Seven Falls

I've been to Seven Falls several times, and posted about it once, but I thought it'd be worth sharing photos from a hike there last Saturday.  It was beautiful and sunny and not too hot.  We had such a dry monsoon season that this is actually the driest I'd ever seen this hike - certainly a contrast from this time.  I suppose at least all the creek crossings are easier when it's nearly dry.  Actually, I was amazed how easy hiking is when you're not carrying 35 lbs up or down a very steep trail. :)

So grad school sucks you say? Part II

What?  The "advice" I was given didn't really help?  Grad school still sucks?  Sorry.  Most of Chris' advice was rather tongue-in-cheek, but grad school will probably continue to suck no matter how good the advice is.  It's kind of the nature of the beast.  Some days are fine and a few are fun, but there will always be days that suck.  Whenever I complain about grad school my non-grad-school friends tell me there are crappy days in whatever they're doing, too.  Bummer.

While there are definitely days when I think I made the wrong decision to go to grad school, and I wonder how anybody ever finishes, there are definitely things you can do to make these +/-5 years less terrible.  Here are my suggestions.  A lot of them are rather interrelated.  Depending on your personality, some of them may not apply to you.

• DO STUFF OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL.  Go to the gym, go to church, go to the miscellaneous local fairs and festivals.  Anything. Something.  I don't care how much you love whatever field you're in, you can't possibly do only that and come out of graduate school with your mental health and social skills intact.  Find a hobby.  It doesn't matter what, anything will do.  Read the entire Master and Commander series.  Take a pottery class.  I don't care.  This is probably the biggest, best piece of advice I can give you.
• Some people might disagree with me, like all the Chinese students in my lab who alternate between Burger King and Chick-Fil-A, but I think eating fairly healthy (most of the time - I promise I understand the value of a bowl of ice cream) and working out regularly go a long way.  One of the reasons I live within walking distance of campus is so that when I'm too busy/stressed/tired to get up early to work out I still get at least a bit of exercise walking 15 minutes each way to school.
• Along with doing stuff outside of school, make friends outside of your program/department.  Get involved in activities.  For me this wound up happened by living with random people I met via Craigslist and working with the high school youth group at my parish (bonus, community service is good for fellowship applications).  I'll admit I got really lucky on the roommate front - many of the girls I've lived with in Tucson have become great friends that I've gone on crazy backpacking trips and on road trips in foreign countries with, and now it seems we're taking turns going to each others weddings.  When you exclusively hang out with people from your program, you wind up "talking shop" more often than not, which doesn't give you that much needed break.
• At the same time though, friends in your program/department/grad school are a good thing.  They're the people you'll grab coffee or lunch with, or celebrate with when you have a good data day or pass your oral.  They're also the people who can totally understand when you just have to vent about whatever sucks.
• Speaking of which, I'm all for some amount of venting/bitching about whatever it is that sucks.  You've seen me do plenty of it here.  Watch it with this one though, because too much and you're just a Negative Nancy who's never happy with anything.  After all, there's always somebody who's got it worse.  But there really is something to be said for a good bitch and/or cry fest.  When it's really that bad you really do feel better afterwards.
• On the other hand, celebrate everything.  My first year a lot of us would head to the bar after a cume.  Even if you think you blew it, hell, you took it.  Finished a class?  Had a good day in lab?  Finally got an experiment to work after trying it 14 times?  Gave a talk without making a fool of yourself?  Finally got revisions back from your advisor?  Won the battle with the 3rd reviewer?  Passed your oral?  Got an abstract accepted?  Opened a word document and wrote exactly 17 words of your dissertation?  All these things are worthy of a beer, or a celebration of some sort.  (Passing your oral is worthy of several beers.  Or 2 long islands and a half dozen shots.  Including a Harry Potter shot.  As is your defense.)  My research group has a tradition of popping a bottle of champagne after successful orals and defenses.  Even if it's 10 am we're pouring bubbly into incredibly silly Bruker champagne flutes.
• Make lists.  I love them.  Short term and long term lists.  They help me focus and get more done (which makes me happy), and crossing stuff off them feels so good.
• Be proactive about your own happiness.   Can you change something about whatever it is that sucks?  Yeah, you have to take and pass classes, and cumes, and your oral, and jump through a million hoops.  Is that class that sucks required?  Can you drop it?  (I really should have dropped one of my classes my first semester.  It was an awful, miserable experience with a terrible teacher and I learned absolutely nothing.)  Do you hate your teaching assignment?  Before the next semester go ask the lab coordinator about teaching the course you are interested in.  Hate your research project?  Talk to your advisor.  Maybe you can work on what does interest you on a part time basis.  Or maybe you're willing to teach in order to work on a project you do like.  Doesn't always work out, but sometimes it does.  Is your advisor a crazy slave-driver?  Or verbally abusive and unethical?  Switch groups.  In chemistry at least it happens.  The earlier in your grad school career the better, but people switch groups, and as long as you're polite and professional about it (yes, even if your advisor is a horrible person) it generally works out just fine.  Maybe it takes you a semester or a year longer to graduate, but better that than utterly miserable and maybe not getting a degree at all.  Not everything can be changed or is in your power to change, but at least nothing is permanent.
• This goes hand and hand with the last point, but learn to say no.  Seriously.  No, you can't go to that oral practice.  No, you can't drive around recruits on both Friday and Saturday night.  No, you don't have time to proofread your labmate's entire dissertation.  No, you won't do this set of experiments for your lazy labmate who should have graduated already.  No, you won't take on a new project in your fifth year.  I'm not that good at this point, but I've gotten better the older I've gotten.  Or maybe I'm just getting crotchety in my old age.
• Go to students' final seminars/defenses. Throughout grad school, I have found these the most encouraging and interesting seminars.  A research seminar is always more interesting coming from somebody you know.  And a final seminar, a nice, tidy presentation of a dissertation project is the most encouraging, obvious sign I can think of that yes, people do graduate.  It's also good to get an idea of how a project can come together when you're stuck in the unending, seemingly hopeless middle part.  Bonus: free caffeine and snacks to accompany your hour out of lab.
• Step away from the lab bench.  Sometimes you need to take half an hour and go for a walk.  Get some fresh air.  Maybe a coffee.  Heck, you're a grad student.  This isn't a real job.  Get lunch beers. The time you spend clearing your head will be at least partly made up for by less time banging your head against the wall and less time wasted when you mess something up in your frustration.  Sometimes you just have to call it a day and GO HOME.  Better than hurting yourself because you were a little too aggressive cleaning glassware or breaking something really expensive because you were a little too rough with that $10,000 printed circuit board.
• Take advantage of the flexibility of being a graduate student.  Unless your advisor is brand new and/or crazy, there's rarely a reason why you have to work specific hours.  Outside of some set meetings or designated instrument time, there's no reason I have to be here between certain hours.  You will most likely work more than 40 hrs/week, but there's no reason that the first 40 of those hours have to be between 9 am and 5 pm.  You were in lab really late?  Sleep in the next morning.  Have a couple errands to run to businesses that are only open 9-5?  Run them.  Not a morning person?  Work out in the middle of the day and work a bit later.  Heck, maybe you can time it so an experiment is running while you head to the gym.  It's nice to be around for some part of "business hours" so you can find people you need and people who need you can find you, but it's nice to sleep in every now and then or stay home to wait for the repairman without it being a problem.  You may be more productive working "off hours" - I know for me at least it's a heck of a lot easier to get stuff done without people around to pester me.

Some days (and sometimes a LOT of days in a row) will still suck, and not everything is something you can change/influence.  But a lot of stuff is, and there are a lot of little things you can do to make things bearable and sometimes even fun.

That's all I've got.  Anybody else have suggestions?

Wedding at the Base of a Mountain

Apparently all my Tucson roommates have at least a little hippy in them.  Last year Lisa got married in a completely random clearing in a national park, and a few weeks ago, Liz got married at the base of a mountain in Lost Dutchman State Park.

K8 flew back to Tucson for the occasion, and we all drove up and camped for the wedding.  The readings were um, odd to say the least, in my traditional-religious-wedding-experience, but the ceremony was short and pretty and the reception was a blast.  The funniest part may have been seeing Liz in a full blown wedding dress.  Especially considering the only other time I've seen her in a dress was at Lisa's wedding!

So grad school sucks you say? Part I

After noticing that blogger tracks how people find your site, I went and looked again.  And what do you know, I've got two more visits as a result of googling "graduate school worst decision" and "going to grad school worst decision."  So I think maybe it's time I take a few posts to address directly grad school's suckage factor and how (or if) to survive it.

Academia is kind of like a family.  A really twisted, not-so-loving, really effed up, and emotionally scarring family.  My advisor is like my academic "mom," making her PhD advisor my academic "grandfather."  Along these lines, Chris, the grad student who primarily trained me when I joined the lab, and whose project I "inherited" is my academic "big brother."  I'm going to start this series of surviving grad school posts with an email I got from Chris my first semester.

I got lucky by the mere fact of having this sort of mentor.  Students who join new/newish labs, or pick up a temporarily shelved project don't have that advantage.  I got really lucky having the senior student mentor that I did.  He was super patient and helpful when it came to showing me the ropes in lab (I'd never done mass spec or worked with proteins), in grad school, and now that he's a real grown up with a real job, after grad school.

Below is the email I received from him during a super stressful and distressing period in 528 - this hellish lab course that analytical students have to take their 2nd semester here.  I learned a ton in the course, but it was an enormously time-consuming (in a take-over-your-life kind of way) and stressful semester.  He sent this mostly smart ass message shortly after listening to a "get-me-the-hell-out-of-here-anything-has-to-be-better-than-this" freak out.

Dear Abby:

Why does grad school suck so hard it could pull a taxi-cab driver through
immigration?  Is it really worth going through this?  If I quit now is there
still hope for me?  Will I ever discover my purpose in life?  And will I need
anodic stripping voltammetry to discover it?

Sincerely,
Bunsen Burnout


Dear Bunsen:

I found a few articles that I thought might address your concerns.  Skim through
the ones that seem interesting and see if it doesn't help some sunlight break
through those chemistry rain clouds.  And by the way, that's "Dear DR. Abby" to
you - I finished MY Ph.D.


I did a Ph.D. and did not go mad - The truth about the next five years of your
life (you don't have to read the others, but this one's kind of funny):

http://public.randomnotes.org/richard/PhDtalk.html


Dr. Dropout - so that you know your not alone in wanting to quit (these next two
are kind of boring): [need journal access for these next two, let me know if you want them in full]

http://chronicle.com/free/v50/i19/19a01001.htm


Feeling no regrets - an article that (falsely) leads you to believe it's ok to
quit (it's not by the way):

http://chronicle.com/weekly/v50/i19/19a01101.htm


How to become a trophy wife - just in case you find none of the above
particularly inspirational

http://www.ehow.com/how_2063647_be-trophy-wife.html 

And finally, if none of these convince you to stay, know that when you finally
finish you'll have this pretty little bundle of joy - 300 pages neatly bound in
a hardback black cover that you've birthed, raised, and watched grow.  You'll be
so proud of what your little dissertation has accomplished, and best of all when
it comes time to pass that tike on to a young graduate student and they threaten
to destroy everything you've worked so hard for by saying they want to quit you
will have every right to make them suck it up or personally come kick their
A**!  So you see Anne, you might as well give up on giving up because you have
no choice.  I will make you stay whether you want to or not - SO SUCK IT UP!
And have a wonderful evening. :)

Who are you people??

Not my half dozen regulars.  I know who you are.  The rest of you - who are you??

So I just discovered that blogger has this little feature buried in its inner workings that tells you what search terms led people to your blog.  The complete list to date is below (as you can tell by this oh-so-extensive list, my blog is clearly one of the most-read features on the interwebs).

coors field clubhouse
craziest cake ever
romero pools
tucson bucket list
9th birthday snow
arizona bucket list
cochise eastern stronghold
colloquium "job talk"
dia de los muertos parade tucson az
fancy vertical desserts
graduate school worst decision
lab coat tucson
town tfgyh

It's kinda funny to me that "coors field clubhouse" was the most common search term leading to my blog, all for this one single post about touring Coors Field during the users' meeting I attended during a conference in Denver.  It certainly explains how that post wound up in the "popular posts" list on the side of my blog.  Actually, it explains a lot of the "popular posts."  "Fancy vertical desserts" is a funny thing to search for, but that and "craziest cake ever" can only have led somebody to this cake. "town tfgyh" is pretty weird, and puzzling.  no idea at all where that one led - or what the person actually meant to look for.  "9th birthday snow" is also quite amusing.  No snow in Tucson, sorry, folks.

Far and away the funniest search term, and now the highlight of my day, is "graduate school worst decision."  YES.  I am so proud right now.  My best guess is it led them to this post, back in that hell-ish stretch when my advisor had the crazy idea that I should get a totally new thing to work for a presentation I was giving to the entire department a week later.  But there are probably plenty of other posts under the "gradual school" label to discourage one from going to grad school.  The fact that it's after 10 pm and I'm writing this post at school could also count as an argument.

There's also some info about where from and how people are reading my blog.  Apparently I've had 105 pageviews from Malaysia.  Malaysia?  What?  105 pageviews is hardly an accident.  Somebody from Malaysia read at least some of my blog on purpose.  The 13 pageviews from Brazil I get.  Boyfriend spends quite a bit of time in Brazil for work.  I can't imagine anybody else from Brazil is reading my blog.  Malaysia?  Really?

Apparently exactly half of my pageviews were using Firefox (me too!), and 85% were with a Windows operating system.  Just about every iDevice has been used to read my blog, and it looks like there's one person reading with Linux.

I'm entertained by this little peek into who's accidentally stumbled into my corner of the internet.  I'll have to keep checking back to see what other amusing search terms lead some poor fool here.

And to the poor schmuck searching for "graduate school worst decision," I'm sorry.  I'm sorry things suck.  Grad school sucks.  But some days don't suck.  Good luck!

Jury Duty

The day after getting back from the Grand Canyon I had to go to jury duty.  Like I mentioned before, this is the fifth time I've been summoned for jury duty.  Random my ass.

Anyways, I get in there, and what do you know?  I actually get pulled for jury selection.  The last time I went I just sat there in the room until they dismissed us all at noon.  They took twenty of us over to Tucson City Court for selection for a DUI case.

A couple funny notes about jury selection:

• One of the prospective jurors worked for the city - she knew just about every cop, clerk, bailiff, judge, and prosecutor in the county. She wasn't put on the jury.
• At one point they asked us (the prospective jurors) if we knew anybody in the room - defendant, either attorney, other jurors etc.  One prospective juror said that she knew defense council professionally - he had represented her on another matter.  Another DUI case.  Where she was found guilty.  Hilarious, and needless to say she wasn't placed on the jury.
• They have a set list of questions that they ask each juror, the last of which is what tv shows do you watch and what magazines do you read.  This seems like a silly question, and most people answered with types of shows or types of magazines.  One guy actually said that he reads Playboy and Maxim.  Dude, I'm pretty sure nobody needed to know that...
• Now you would think that in a DUI case defense council would see an analytical chemist as an undesirable juror, especially when the main defense is that the breathalyzer can not accurately represent the defendant's BAC.  Given that this girl was so obviously guilty (so obvious to me as soon as opening statements were done - I'm sure the attorneys knew this going into it), I'm sure the prosecutor thought yes please! put the analytical chemist on the jury!  However the defense attorney was a fool to agree to let me sit on that jury...although...he was a fool in all sorts of other ways too.

The defendant took the stand and after half an hour of listening to her life story (irrelevant), education (irrelevant), and plans to marry in November (again, irrelevant), she sat there and swore that she was completely sober and not at all impaired after 3 beers within an hour on an empty stomach while weighing only 120 lbs.  Sure.  I significantly outweigh this girl, and I couldn't drink that much in an hour even with a meal and be ok to drive.

Her lawyer was awful.  Absolutely awful.  I don't know if all DUI attorneys are sleezebags, or if he's worse than the average, but wow.  The entire thing was like a stage show.  I think approximately 5% of what he told us was actually relevant to the case.  When he wasn't waxing poetic about nothing he was waving 4 fingers around while telling us she only had 3 drinks and calling is client by the wrong name.  I felt really bad that she wasted her money on this scumbag.

The whole thing took a day and a half.  The first day wasn't so bad, and some parts were pretty interesting.  The second day was brutally painful.  The paid expert witness brought in by the defense in an attempt to convince us that the breathalyzer is going to give a falsely high result depending on how long after drinking the test is performed was incredibly garbled and confusing.  It didn't help that the defense attorney is an idiot and had him talking in circles.  So painful and aggravating to listen to all morning.

The most baffling thing about this whole trail/experience, was that the incident took place over 4 years ago.  FOUR YEARS for a DUI to come to trail.  That just seems beyond absurd.  Unfortunately we never had an opportunity to as if that's normal, or what the hell made this case take so long.  Seriously, if she had pled out when this happened it would be over and no longer a part of her life.  Yeah, it's gonna be on her record, and I'm sure affects her insurance, but the tangible consequences would have been ancient history by now.

Once we were released to deliberate it thankfully only took us about 30 seconds to realize we all already agreed that the girl was guilty.  She seems like a nice girl, but nice people show poor judgment too.

A couple days later I got a cute little form letter from the judge thanking me for my service.  Let's see how long it is til I get summoned again...

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cupcakes

When I saw these cupcakes on Annie's Eats I knew I HAD to try them.  I adore chocolate chip cookie dough.  Whenever I make chocolate chip cookies an embarrassing portion of the dough never makes it into the oven.

Between the cake, the filling, the frosting, and the little decorative chocolate chip cookies I have never used so much butter on "one" recipe but oh man is it good.  So, so good.

Signs of a Good Boyfriend

I had a bit of a rough time in the Grand Canyon.  I mean it was a good trip, and I'm glad I did it (not to mention proud of surviving it!), but between puking the first night and the worst/most blisters I've ever had in my entire life I wasn't always a happy camper.

The night before we hiked in, we were wandering around the South Rim, and I noticed this rather funny warning image:

Now the joke was totally on me, because after a super long day of hiking, with the last few miles/hours of it in full-blown 100+ degree desert sun, I totally puked not even 5 minutes after we got into camp.  In my defense, I found this image funny for the super realistic, waterfall like stream of puke - not so much the fact that the guy is puking.  The NPS's signage could use some updating in general, but whatever, joke's clearly on me.

Anyways, you may be wondering how all this is relevant to the title of the post, but I'm getting to that.  While I was puking up everything I'd eaten the previous approximately 24 hours, Boyfriend very kindly rubbed my back (my hair was already up), and when I was finished, fetched a bucket of water to wash it all away.  As if that wasn't awesome enough, it didn't even occur to him until after I'd finished barfing that a picture would have been funny.  Sweet, no? :)

The other source of major brownie points earned on this trip relates to those awful blisters.  I swear I got more blisters on this trip than I've had in my entire life put together.  Really.  We hiked out Sunday morning and my toes still hurt too much to wear actual shoes.  Every night/morning and occasionally along the trail required a fairly lengthy process of popping blisters and covering various parts of my feet and toes in moleskin, bandaids, and tape.  Unfortunately the blisters on the backs of my heels were hard to both see and reach at the same time.  The last night Boyfriend was kind enough to perform some minor surgery on the parts of my feet that I couldn't reach:

Cute, no?