Sunday, October 16, 2011

So grad school sucks you say? Part I

After noticing that blogger tracks how people find your site, I went and looked again.  And what do you know, I've got two more visits as a result of googling "graduate school worst decision" and "going to grad school worst decision."  So I think maybe it's time I take a few posts to address directly grad school's suckage factor and how (or if) to survive it.

Academia is kind of like a family.  A really twisted, not-so-loving, really effed up, and emotionally scarring family.  My advisor is like my academic "mom," making her PhD advisor my academic "grandfather."  Along these lines, Chris, the grad student who primarily trained me when I joined the lab, and whose project I "inherited" is my academic "big brother."  I'm going to start this series of surviving grad school posts with an email I got from Chris my first semester.

I got lucky by the mere fact of having this sort of mentor.  Students who join new/newish labs, or pick up a temporarily shelved project don't have that advantage.  I got really lucky having the senior student mentor that I did.  He was super patient and helpful when it came to showing me the ropes in lab (I'd never done mass spec or worked with proteins), in grad school, and now that he's a real grown up with a real job, after grad school.

Below is the email I received from him during a super stressful and distressing period in 528 - this hellish lab course that analytical students have to take their 2nd semester here.  I learned a ton in the course, but it was an enormously time-consuming (in a take-over-your-life kind of way) and stressful semester.  He sent this mostly smart ass message shortly after listening to a "get-me-the-hell-out-of-here-anything-has-to-be-better-than-this" freak out.

Dear Abby:

Why does grad school suck so hard it could pull a taxi-cab driver through
immigration?  Is it really worth going through this?  If I quit now is there
still hope for me?  Will I ever discover my purpose in life?  And will I need
anodic stripping voltammetry to discover it?

Sincerely,
Bunsen Burnout


Dear Bunsen:

I found a few articles that I thought might address your concerns.  Skim through
the ones that seem interesting and see if it doesn't help some sunlight break
through those chemistry rain clouds.  And by the way, that's "Dear DR. Abby" to
you - I finished MY Ph.D.


I did a Ph.D. and did not go mad - The truth about the next five years of your
life (you don't have to read the others, but this one's kind of funny):

http://public.randomnotes.org/richard/PhDtalk.html


Dr. Dropout - so that you know your not alone in wanting to quit (these next two
are kind of boring): [need journal access for these next two, let me know if you want them in full]

http://chronicle.com/free/v50/i19/19a01001.htm


Feeling no regrets - an article that (falsely) leads you to believe it's ok to
quit (it's not by the way):

http://chronicle.com/weekly/v50/i19/19a01101.htm


How to become a trophy wife - just in case you find none of the above
particularly inspirational

http://www.ehow.com/how_2063647_be-trophy-wife.html 

And finally, if none of these convince you to stay, know that when you finally
finish you'll have this pretty little bundle of joy - 300 pages neatly bound in
a hardback black cover that you've birthed, raised, and watched grow.  You'll be
so proud of what your little dissertation has accomplished, and best of all when
it comes time to pass that tike on to a young graduate student and they threaten
to destroy everything you've worked so hard for by saying they want to quit you
will have every right to make them suck it up or personally come kick their
A**!  So you see Anne, you might as well give up on giving up because you have
no choice.  I will make you stay whether you want to or not - SO SUCK IT UP!
And have a wonderful evening. :)

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