My Other Home

So I'm so behind in blogging that three months later I'm getting around to writing about going to St. Louis for Little Brother's college graduation.  It was mostly a really nice trip, and I'm always happy to go to St. Louis.  I love St. Louis.  I loved my time there.  It's such an under-rated city.  Little brother still lives there, along with Dad's side of the family, and one of my college roommates.  I can't wait to back for Wedding #3 in December!

I mostly took photos of family and graduation stuff, so not a whole lot to share, but here are a couple shots.

Ted Drewes.  Amazingness in a cup.  It's right on Route 66, and it's pretty much a St. Louis icon.  Grandpa (mom's dad, who lives in Connecticut, not dad's dad who lives in St. Louis) thought it was crowded.  The crowd that night hardly counted as a crowd.  After a Cardinals' game it's nothing short of a mob scene.  Ted Drewes is an essential stop on every trip to StL.

Those of you who have lived in mid-town St. Louis may recognize this UFO-like building.  Though you may not, as it is now far more classily (Yep, made that one up.  Standing by it.) occupied than when I was in college.  At that point it was a Del Taco.  And I never once in 4 years ate there.  It was a shady, shady place.  Now the university has bought the apartments behind it, and it's much more respectably occupied by a Starbucks and a Chipotle.  The flying saucer has come so far.

Time for a tangent.  My dorm freshman year was directly across the street from the above flying saucer, somewhat separate from the rest of campus.  The road was a really busy road, and we were just south of a large and apparently confusing intersection.  Accidents happened all the time.  The former Del Taco makes me think of one of the dumbest accidents I've ever seen, which happened right in front of it.  There's a light there, and a school bus - you know, giant, bright yellow vehicle - was stopped at the red light.  I was walking up the street towards campus when I heard a crash behind me, and I turned around to find a vehicle had rear ended the stopped school bus.  I don't really remember, but I think it was a jeep.  It's entire front end was smashed into the back of the bus.  We're not talking little fender bender from somebody creeping forward at the red light.  How do you miss the GIANT YELLOW BUS stopped in front of you??

At commencement all the faculty in their academic regalia process in before the students.  Check out the guy in the middle of the photo below.  It's Dumbledore!  Apparently he teaches at my old college - he didn't die in Book 6 after all!  After the ceremony we were chatting with a professor (actually a Jesuit priest who lived in the same dorm I did my freshman year) who was a contemporary of my parents when they were all students at this same college.  Dad asked him who Dumbledore was (literally, that's exactly what he said), and this professor thought about it for a few minutes, and said he teaches in the theology department.  On that description alone, he knew exactly who he was.  Priceless.

While in St. Louis I got to hang out with my college roommate (the bride in Wedding #3 this year - and I'm seriously excited for that wedding!), and she and her fiance just got the cutest little puppy.  He's adorable, and super photogenic.

I just love St. Louis.  Only 4 1/2 months until I get to go back!

Easter Tradition

Some of you (imaginary readers) may be familiar with the Easter Pinata tradition that my classmates/friends and I started in grad school.  Well, the pinata has come to the east coast.  I brought a cute little blue and white cow pinata, and all the little cousins had a blast with it.

Over the past year or so, I've also gotten more into using royal icing to decorate cookies, and I made some cute chick and egg cookies.

When Boyfriend and I got back to Lancaster, we had some fun with the peeps my aunt gave us in the Easter basket she so nicely made for us. :)

Graduation Cake

I made this "cake" for Little Sister's graduation.  She played softball all through high school too, and when I sent her a list of cake options, including some far more complicated and decadent cakes, this is what she picked.  Go figure.  Miss Sophistication.

Sorry for the less than awesome photo quality.  I only had my iPad on that trip and not my camera.

At graduation Little Sister got the biggest award they give.  It's an award that faculty nominate students for and then vote on to select the recipient.  It's more or less an award for being the most awesome all-around person.  And Little Sister won it.  Not only that, she's won herself a pretty sweet full tuition scholarship to a pretty damn awesome school in Boston.  I guess I'm not the only person who thinks she's awesome!  So proud!

The "C word" is back.

In December my uncle died of pancreatic cancer.  He was 55 and left behind a wife and three awesome (mostly grown, but still way too young to lose their dad) kids.  In March my grandmother died of just-about-everything cancer, just a month after diagnosis and the day before my flight home.  She and Grandpa were married 55 years.  Needless to say everybody in my family has been hoping we're done with the "C word" for a very long time.

Well, it's back.  Just not in the family this time.  One of my grad school friends, who you all know as my dissertation date buddy, has just been diagnosed with cancer.  Not that cancer is ever cool, but she's 27.  WTF.  She should be editing her dissertation and planning for her awesome teaching post doc, not planning chemo treatments.  She was supposed to defend her dissertation July 5th, which is obviously unlikely to happen any time soon now.

She just went back into surgery this afternoon.  For any of you who are into this sort of thing, she could really use some prayers.

J's account of my life for the past month

Because I haven't been able to blog often enough to satisfy him, J (of E & J) has decided to step in and write a post for me.  Yes, he calls me Annie.  Here's his account of the past month of my life [with a wee bit of my own commentary thrown in]:

I am an avid reader of Annie’s life in a lab coat blog.  I am sure that her other readers are experiencing the same angst as I am, wondering what she is up to.  The following is my account of the happenings since her last irregular blog post.

1.       Lil sis graduated from High School.  This is a momentous occasion.  She is a smart and at times goofy young lady.  I think back to the mix of emotions that I experienced when I graduated from high school.  I was overjoyed to be done with a 12 year educational endeavor and anxious for the post secondary hurdle ahead a.k.a. college.  Lil sis was accepted to a good school and even got a scholarship!

2.       E. had her bachelorette party in Sonoita, AZ, in Arizona wine country.  The party of ladies took several tours of various wineries and handed out cookies to several of the operators who gave unscheduled tours of their operation.  Side bar: I am jealous of this trip as it is on my Tucson bucket list and I have yet to go but, E. had a good time and that is all that matters, ever. [Isn't J a great husband?]

3.       Anne went on several job interviews [actually just one on-site interview, plus a few phone interviews, and a couple face-to-face interviews at the conference last month] for post graduation aka the real world with a real job.  This should not be confused with some no-talent hollow a-holes who end up on MTV drinking too much and in general sucking at life.  She had the trip from layover hell.  To keep it short and sweet, she was supposed to get in at a reasonable time and have dinner with the infamous C. [aka Boyfriend] but, Murphy’s Law and the airlines [and the weather] took over and killed that dream.  She finally, after many hours of waiting, landed at 0000 (midnight for you non-24 clock people [--> E]) and made it to her interview at 0700 tired but there in person. 

4.       J & E FINALLY got married after ~6.5 years of dating!  Anne was the MOH and gave a great toast. The back story:  The wedding was on 6/2/12.  Annie returned from her interview and entered pre- wedding combat.  E. decided to make her own wedding and grooms cakes.  So, beginning on Thursday, she worked for two days baking cakes, making marzipan fruit, crumb frosted, frosted, decorated the cake, and flowers.   She did this side by side with E’s mom who is high strung [no comment].  Being my M.I.L., I will make no further comment.  I cannot express my level of thanks for her help.  The cakes were delicious and looked awesome.  Annie is a truly talented baker and any man lucky enough to have her in his life will eat well.  C. take note. [Yes. Boyfriend, take note.] Pictures to follow.

5.       Annie was offered a post doc position that is affiliated with one of the premier medical institutions [located at one of said institutions, I'll actually be employed by an instrument company] in the country.  Last I heard this was where she was going to accept as a job.  It is a bitter sweet event.  On the one hand it is nice to graduate and get the hell out of grad school.  On the other it is sad as she will be leaving a group of great friends and a town that she has come to love and hate.  I can only wish her the best of luck.  I know that she is a great chemist and will flourish at anything she takes on. 

6.       The dissertation is for all practical purposes done, yay!  [YAY!!!!]  I know this has been a looming cloud for a few months but, it is in the final stages of done and should be finished very very shortly.  Annie and I discussed her monumental achievement this evening; I was informed that she was celebrating with ice cream.  For those of you curious souls: Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked.

I am sure that I left some things out but, this should give you some much needed Annie news.

Thank you for reading this somewhat rambling post and have a good morning/afternoon/evening.

~J. of J & E

A post in which I brag about how funny my "kids" are

Ok, not my kids.  I don't have kids.  In this case I mean a couple of my cousins.

I spent almost an entire week in Connecticut before/during/after Gramma's funeral, and it was great.  All my aunts and uncles are awesome, and holidays are always so busy and mean lots of people around, so it was really nice to have an extended chance to hang out with them (even if instigated by a shitty occasion).  I haven't spent that much time there since I was a kid.  I had lots of time to just hang out and chat and catch up with my youngest aunt (who's really more like an older sister than an aunt), play with my young cousins (youngest aunt's children), go running with my uncle, and play cards with Grandpa (who keeps referring to Boyfriend as my "young man" haha).

My aunt's three girls are 12 (C), 10 (G), and almost 7 (M).  The oldest has a thing for cupcakes, but with three kids and a full time job, my aunt doesn't exactly have much time to bake with her, so I helped her make cupcakes from scratch (with three kids, mix is the standard!) using some of the goodies I got her for her birthday.

[Side story - I'll try not to make this a habit... At Christmas, all the nieces' and nephews' names are thrown into a pool, and each aunt or uncle draws two and gets a gift for just those two kids.  Well, there are 5 aunts/uncles, and currently 13 grandchildren.  The baby isn't in the pool yet...and to make the numbers work out, I got booted from the pool a few years ago, and told that I was going to buy for one of my "nieces or nephews" - i.e. cousins.  Nice deal, huh?  Anyways, when I discovered C's cupcake thing last fall, I claimed her for Christmas.  No worries, the  drawing is totally fixed every year. :P  Anyways, I had a blast assembling a cupcake/cooking/baking themed gift for her - a ton of fun cupcake liners and sprinkles, her own set of piping tips, I made her an apron (she was just on the border between being too big for the kids' sizes and growing into the adult aprons), and gave her a plastic index card box and a set of index cards to have her own recipe file.  Hilarious, but the recipe file has been by far the most popular item in that collection.  She even took it to school to show her friends.  Well the niece/nephew exchange never got set up for Christmas, with my uncle dying in early December (yeah, it's been a shitty several months), so we decided to just hold on to the gift for C to open for her birthday in February.]

We made s'mores cupcakes, adapted from recipes from Ming Makes Cupcakes.  We used the chocolate cupcake and marshmallow frosting from Recipe #8, and adapted the frosting to be vanilla marshmallow instead of mint.  The frosted cupcakes were then dipped in crushed graham cracker and topped with chocolate chips.  They weren't the fanciest cupcake I've ever made, but they were certainly tasty, and everybody enjoyed them.  Cake and frosting made from scratch are always better than from store-bought mixes.  It was fun teaching C how to measure flour (spoon into the measuring cup, then level with a knife - DON'T scoop!), and having her essentially make them herself.  She was suuuuper excited about it all.

The next day, my aunt and cousins drove me down to the train station so I could head back to PA to spend a week with Boyfriend, and I had the following conversation with the youngest girl, M, who's not quite 7.  All three girls have been getting ready for the international fair at school the next night, and M is talking about her part in this.

M: My class has Mexico.

Me: M, do you know where I live?

M: Ummmmmm.  No.

Me: I live in Arizona.  Like you live in Connecticut, I live in Arizona.  Do you know what's next door to Arizona?

C: Mexico!

Me: Yep, Mexico is next to Arizona.  I live only an hour and a half from Mexico.

M: We've been learning about all the animals that live in Mexico.  Lizards, and this weird rabbit kinda thing.

Me: Did you learn about javelinas?

M: What?

Me: Javelinas.  They're like pigs, but hairy.  But they're not actually related to pigs. 

M: Oh, weird. 

M: I have to draw a picture of something Mexican [for the international fair].  I'm going to draw a taco.

Me: [hysterical laughter] 

M: I'm even going to draw it with cheese.  Lettuce, tomato, and cheese.

On the way back home from dropping me off at the train station, they all had this funny conversation that my aunt emailed to me when she got home.  Yes, they all call me Annie.  So does J.

M: Can we go visit Annie?  If we did, then we could go to Mexico.  That would be great to go to Mexico.

Aunt: Well, Annie hasn't even been to Mexico.  It's not very safe near her.  Plus, Annie won't be there too much longer.  Soon she is going to be finished with school and she is going to get a job.

M: Oh, probably in a bakery.

Aunt: [in her head...wow...5 years for a phd and a bakery position...at least all that chemistry would help with the proper rising knowledge!]

C: I hope she gets a job closer to us.

Aunt: She is hoping to get one in PA or NJ so she can be closer to us and Boyfriend.

C: But I thought you said NJ is awful! 

Aunt: Oops!! ;-)

Yesssss!  Little M has me getting a job in a bakery based on ONE cupcake whose making I merely supervised!  Because I live so far away, I really don't get to cook for them very often at all.  But score!  I totally laughed out loud when I read that conversation on my train ride back to PA (Amtrak has free wifi!!). :)

I didn't take any photos of the cupcakes, but here are some javelina photos to make up for it.

So...who are you again?

Two weeks ago, my grandmother died, so we had cause for the whole extended family to get together.  Now my mom is one of 5 children, all of whom are married with kids, so this means a lot of people.  In this case though, all of my mom's aunts, uncles, and cousins were around, too.  Gramma was one of I think 7 kids, all of whom were also married with children.  Throw in all the neighbors, coworkers, and family friends from throughout the past 50+ years, and this meant LOTS of people that I probably haven't ever met, or if I had met them, it's likely been at least a decade since I last saw them.  Some of the names were familiar to me, if not the faces, and lots of these people at least knew of me if they didn't actually recognize me.

Sure enough, the combination of lots of people, people who think they should know who they are, or who vaguely know who you are, leads to lots of confusion and funny stories.

All evening at the wake, Little Sister and I had an ongoing competition with two of our cousins (who are brothers) to see who knew the most people there, outside of our generation and our aunts/uncles.  Since our parents live further away, they didn't have all the coworkers and friends that our cousins' mom  had there, so we lost pretty badly.  The funeral home was pretty packed all night - like I said, big family, and then a bunch of friends and in-laws (and even in-laws of in-laws at one point! so sweet! I hope I wind up with such awesome in-laws someday!) of everybody.  Between the two of us, Little Sister and I only knew 25 people.  It was pretty sad.  Lots of awkward introductions.

Whoever came up with the receiving line style of doing wakes (and weddings for that matter) should be shot.  They're miserable.  Generally speaking, the line at Gramma's wake consisted of Grandpa (who stood there chatting with EVERY single person who came through for FOUR hours - such a trooper) and the 5 kids and their spouses.  As the night went on, the line got shorter and shorter - people stepped out to sit for a few minutes, or find the restroom, or track somebody down to catch up, etc.  So at some point when the line looked rather short, I jumped in line with my aunts and uncles, and for a while Little Sister came with me too.  Some people could place me, but to help, the line I generally used was that I'm the oldest grandchild.  At one point when Little Sister was next to me, some woman I don't know gets to us, and while gesturing to both my sister and I, I tell her that "we're the oldest grandchild."  Right.  Sarah just looked at me like I'd lost my mind.  Which by that point I mostly had.

At the wake I was standing next to my youngest uncle for a while.  He's my mom's baby brother, and is actually closer in age to me than to my mom.  Within the span of ten minutes, one person asked if I were his wife, and another asked if I were his daughter.  Yikes.

[Side story.  My freshman year of high school, my parents got me tickets to see the Barenaked Ladies on New Year's Eve in Boston.  However they certainly weren't going to let 15-year-old me go into Boston on New Year's Eve unchaperoned.  So mom recruiting this uncle to take me.  At that point in time, I looked quite old for my age, and he still had his hair. :)  The 11 year age gap looked much smaller than it was, and even my grandmother make cracks about how it would look like we were on a date.]

I've mentioned before that my sister and I look quite similar.  This does not help out extended relatives trying to figure out who you are.  I had a number of people ask if I still lived at home...logical if I were my sister, who is a senior in high school.  Little Sister had a number of people ask how she was liking Arizona...

The funniest in my book though, was at the reception after the burial.  Little Sister and I were sitting at a table together, when somebody (one of mom's cousins? maybe?) came up and asked which of us was the senior in high school!  Now Little Sister really doesn't look older than her age, definitely not more than a couple of years.  Yeah, I could pass for a few years younger than I am, but I'm quite sure I don't look 17!  I could keep it together and swallow the laughter at most of the ridiculous things people said that week, but not this one.  We both burst out laughing on the spot.

How to Kill Time Between Spectra Late at Night, Volume 4

Ok, not just late at night this time.  We're going back to late afternoon here.  Now that it's actually late at night, I decided it had been a while since I'd made such a list.  Which is a good thing.  And fortunately I am nearly done with such opportunities.

• Email back and forth with aunt about a million times
• Fret over grandmother's rapidly declining health
• Talk to Boyfriend on the phone, feel somewhat better because Boyfriend is awesome
• Get pizza from union before last on-campus food options close at 6 pm.  The (major, but only) downside of spring break.
• Play Bejeweled 2
• Debate pros/cons of taking the train vs renting a car (see separate lists at the bottom)
• Talk to Dad on the phone, advise how to renew little brother's license while living out of state (renew while he's home this week [2 1/2 months before it expires], unfortunately be issued another Under 21/Vertical Loser license, order replacement online after 21st birthday if desired), wonder why Dad is so concerned about this
• Facebook chat with little sister
• Read awesome and ridiculously cute story on Facebook how Ted Allen is a really nice man!
• Book train ticket from Lancaster, PA to New Haven, CT - beg aunts for rides to/from the train station
• Clean out GReader
• Buffer exchange more sample
• Gchat with Boyfriend
• Gchat with J, who apparently has much greater attention span (and budget) for Vegas than I do
• Play Words with Friends with Angie and Little Brother (not the unicorn one)
• Be reminded that Wednesday is Pi Day, ponder what sort of pie to make should I have time tomorrow night, preferably consuming the bag of cranberries in my freezer
• Make & drink tea
• Write frivolous blog post
• Check CNN for election results, realize that it is Monday, not Tuesday
• Remark that it is unfortunate that I should be on the last page of this lab notebook, and will have to get another one, with approximately 3 experiments left
• Adjust bra for zillionth time today, debate combined contributions of bra's age and stretched out-ness and losing a few pounds
• Read editorial from Analytical Chemistry
• Look at produce list for this week.  Get excited about snap peas - yay first sign of spring produce!  Be sad about MORE fennel, beets, and collard greens...
• Tidy desk.  As much as a desk in the midst of dissertation writing can be tidied.
• Flip through latest issue of JASMS, read paper on the effects of super-charging protein complexes
• Laugh ridiculously hard at this picture (if you don't find it funny, it was funny when I was tired at midnight):

Pros for renting a car:

• Ability to go wherever I want whenever I want without inconveniencing anybody else
• Slightly faster than taking the train

Pros for taking the train:

• Cheaper, before even considering the gas and tolls associated with the 600 miles of driving
• Can work on the train
• Can sleep on the train (though not while working unfortunately)
• Less susceptible to traffic jams & rush hour
• One less car on the road - yay mass transit

Vicious Cycle

For those of you in grad school of some sort, when did you know you wanted to go?  Sometime in college? When you found yourself in a dead-end job you hated?  As the eldest daughter of a PhD and an MD, I'm the weirdo who grew up thinking it was normal to go to grad school.  Seriously.  I was maybe 6 or 7 when I learned that my parents had both been in school until they were 27 (coincidentally, the age I am now, and also the age I'll be when I FINALLY graduate).  I was horrified, and told my mom that there was NO WAY I was going to stay in school that long.  She laughed, and said, "we'll see..."  Sadly she was right.  Apparently going to grad school is a vicious cycle...

A conversation I had recently with one of my college roommates (CR):

CR: I am only on page 20 of editing a 140 page publication.  It's so slow...
Me: Ick.  Fortunately I can edit a chapter at a time up to the very end.
CR: Yeah, but you're writing a dissertation.  That's scary and difficult in so many other ways.
Me: I'll just be thankful that I don't have to edit 120 pages at a shot for right now. :)
CR: Haha, small wins
Me: Pretty much.  At this point I'm mainly motivated by being able to make other people call me Dr. [Last Name] after I defend.  Although that will be weird, because in my mind Dr. [Last Name] is my mom
CR: Haha, true.  And your dad too technically.
Me: Yes, technically.  He's got at least as much claim to it as I'll have.  And technically grandpa, too.
CR: So many drs
Me: Haha yeah.  It is a bit funny.  Easy to see why I grew up thinking it was normal to go to grad school. :P
CR: True that.  It's like a drug.
Me: Or teen pregnancy.  A vicious cycle.
CR: Best example yet!

Weird Mascot Cookies

For Christmas, Boyfriend's mom gave me a lovely cookbook, piping tips, and an Arkansas razorback cookie cutter!  By Friday afternoon I was pretty tired of writing, so I made some razorback cookies for the Cotton Bowl that night.

I'm most impressed that in the photo they actually look like razorbacks!  In person...well...not so much.  Maybe if you stand a bit further away and squint they do.

Now I feel the need to find wildcat and billiken cookie cutters.  You know, to have cookie cutters mascots for the schools I've actually attended.  Sadly neither of these cookie cutters seem to exist (the girl at the bookstore this morning giggled awkwardly and looked at me like I was nuts when I asked).  Fortunately Google tells me that custom made cookie cutters shouldn't be all that hard to get!  As my college roommate said, "Weird mascot cookies all around!"

Furthering My Education

After Christmas I flew down to Arkansas to visit Boyfriend and his family.  He grew up on a rice farm in a rural area.  Needless to say this is VERY different from my upbringing in suburbs outside of major cities.  I'd been to Arkansas a couple times with my college roommate (aka Boyfriend's sister...), and it's always been a very enlightening and amusing experience (for me and them).  The first time I went to Arkansas I had to ask what grain bins were.  Another time in college, my midwestern/southern roommates collectively decided to refuse to explain chicken fried steak to me.

Itty bitty plane like the one I took to Arkansas.  Apparently not many people fly to Arkansas.

We spent a day driving around the farm, where Boyfriend had a great time getting his truck super muddy.  (He found this more entertaining than I did, especially when I had to watch him scrub it clean the next day.)  I had a lot of fun with the rusted out ancient equipment on the side of a field.  I also got to drive a tractor, only to be laughed at because I was so excited about it.  Boyfriend also "made" me climb to the top of the grain elevator.  Heights don't really bother me, but climbing up the ladder was scary.  Good thing the view from the top was pretty nice...  Then we took his dad's dog (who couldn't quite make up her mind whether she liked me or not) out on a tramp through some pastures and around the rock quarry.  I'm calling it a tramp because it was more than a walk given the terrain and mud, but not really a hike because it was mostly flat.

Eagle's nest

Beaver dam

Fourche River (Pronounced "Fo-shee."  My French teachers would die.)

 

 

Check out my beautiful donut!

We ate a couple meals at his grandparents' house, where I worried about offending his grandmother with my ability to clear the 3 lb plate of spaghetti and meatballs she put in front of me.  I love his grandparents - they're great, but I have never even tried to eat so much spaghetti before, nor followed it with a piece of super rich (and delicious) pina colada cake (complete with lots of rum!).

On New Year's Eve we drove up to St. Louis, where we paid a quick visit to G-Pa before hanging out with my other college roommate and going out to First Night for New Year's.  Once we could drag ourselves out of bed we spent the rest of the very long day driving back to Pennsylvania (with a pit stop in Columbus, OH to say hi to my old labmates!).  Later today I'll head back to Tucson, via both Chicago and Dallas...ugh.  But hey, the ticket only cost me 12,500 frequent flyer miles and $5, and Boyfriend doesn't have to drive three hours round trip to get me to the airport.  Looking forward to the warm weather!

The same goes for unicorns.

So, little sister gets an awful lot of press on this blog, to the point where you might not realize that I also have two brothers.  One brother, R, is three years younger than me (almost exactly - Mom was still in the hospital with him on my 3rd birthday).  He majored in philosophy, and fittingly, will argue with you over just about anything no matter how absurd.  The other brother is 6 1/2 years younger than me (Mom went into labor with him the night of my kindergarten graduation, shortly after I'd puked because I was just so excited about graduating from kindergarten), and is still in college, majoring in theater.

Yes, all four of us are REALLY different.

Anyways, a while back I had the following conversation (via text messages of course) with R a while back.  Keep in mind, we don't talk very often (like one year when I called to say happy birthday he replied with, "yeah, you too," and that was about the extent of the conversation), and this came totally out of nowhere.

R: What's your address? If i die you get everything.
Me: Huh?
R: I'm filling out insurance. [He just started a new (real!) job.] If i die you're in charge of burying me.  Just throw me in a dumpster and pocket the cash.  Funerals are an overrated and a rip off.
Me: Why not list mom and dad?  And can I donate your body to science instead?
R: You're secondary so if you want anything you have to bury them first.  And keep your witch doctors away from me.  I want to be burned on a pyre intact like achilles.
Me: So no organ donation then?
R: Who am I to interfere with god's plan?

[Sidenote.  My freshman year of college, my mother calls me up and starts the conversation with, "Your brother has broken my heart."  I'm thinking he did something really stupid, like get caught drinking, knock a girl up, etc.  Nope.  What did he do?  He decided not to be confirmed...]

Me: Since when do you believe in God?
R: I'm a reasonable person.  Billions believe in god. Could i then believe that god is nothing? The same goes for unicorns.

Why My Mother Should Not Have Text Messaging

It is entirely unnecessary to leave me a voicemail and send me a text message asking me the SAME THING.

A Father Problem

Do any of you listen to Car Talk on NPR? Did any of you hear this weekend's show, specifically the last segment? My college roommate brought it to my attention. And the father mentioned in this segment, could very, very nearly be my father. It's episode #1122, segment 10 - "Book this, Dad!"

You can find the segment here:

http://www.cartalk.com/Radio/WeeklyShow/online.html

My favorite line is when the daughter says, "I have part a car problem, but mostly a father problem..."

Creative Punishment

My labmate's husband teaches math at the middle school of one of the worst districts in town. These kids are pretty much little hellions, steal stuff all the time, get into all sorts of trouble, and couldn't possibly care less about school. Anyways, one of his students was serving an in-school suspension on what happened to be the school-wide field day. Rather than spending it in the library or wherever it was usually held, the students serving in-school suspension that day had to sit in a portable classroom module whose only windows faced all of the field day activities. My other labmate and I found this a hilarious and wonderful punishment, which got us talking about other creative punishments.

This same labmate had 2 older brothers, and when one of them did something, their parents made all three of them kneel on the floor until one of them confessed despite almost always knowing which kid was guilty. They swore that they knelt for hours, but her mom swore that somebody always confessed within 2-3 minutes.

My other labmate had the best punishment story from her roommate. He's one of like 7 or 8 kids, and whenever they fought with each other, their parents made them stand on the front lawn hugging each other for 15 minutes, and all their neighborhood friends would ride their bikes by laughing at them. Growing up in a household where we fought with each other all the time, I can say we would have HATED this, but as an adult, I think it's GENIUS. Absolutely brilliant.

Unfortunately my parents were never that creative. We nearly always got sent to our rooms. They'd forget they sent us away, and eventually we'd poke a head out and plead to be let out.

The one stroke of punishment genius I remember out of my parents wasn't even really meant to be a punishment. At some point when my little sister was about 2, or maybe not quite 2, she was screaming bloody murder throwing a tantrum over something or other, and my father just picked her up, set her on the back deck, and shut the sliding door behind him. She instantly stopped crying and just stared in total shock. It was super funny.

If I ever have kids, I might just be a terrible parent, because I would have soooooo much fun messing with them! But what's the point of having kids if you can't get some entertainment out of them??

Miscellaneous Saturday Thoughts

My mother called this morning. At 5:40 am. By time I managed to answer she wasn't there. Silly me, thinking that only an emergency warrants a 5:40 am phone call, I called her right back. She answered after like 4 or 5 rings.

Mom: Oh hi honey, what's up?

Me: Hi Mom, is everything ok?

Mom: Of course, why do you ask?

Me: Because you just called me at 5:40 in the morning. [In head: !@#$%@#^$*]

Mom: Oh. Well you know I don't know how to use my phone. I didn't mean to call. [@#*%(@#^!] Your father says hello. He thinks this is a perfectly normal time of morning. [!@$^%!^]

Me: Whatever. I'm going back to bed.

My sister just got her driver's license this morning. She's really a pretty decent driver, but the thought of my baby sister with a license is super weird. Here's part of the facebook chat I had with her this afternoon, free of editing.

Little Sister: omg

im about to take my FIRST

lone driving trip

yayaya license

Me: so you're on the insurance then?

Little Sister: yessssss

i told mom and dad i need a can of pringles for chem class

i think they think im kidding

Me: lol

i'm sure they think you're kidding

Little Sister: but i doooo

its for lab

im not sure why

its the lab where we make things explode

we're building a rocket or something

now i need to locate my mp3

so i can jamm

ohh eww

it was in my softball bag

it smells not so lovely

i didn't know mp3s could even smell

OKKK

[little sister] out

for the first timeee

on the road

by hersellffff

lovin lifeeee

yessssss

BYEEEE

instead of sayin drive safe

or carefully or w/e

dad told me to

"exercise extreme caution"

who says that

ok

BYEE

My $2200 federal tax refund (thank you incorrect 1098-T!!) and that little scholarship I got made it to my account this week. Too bad I instantly wrote a check for nearly as much to my student loans... Bye bye refund and scholarship...


I went for a run this morning. I had to talk myself into it, because it was already 80 degrees at 10:30 am. I figured it's time to suck it up and get used to it. Pretty soon the overnight low isn't going to be any cooler than 80, so it will be at least that hot out no matter how early I get up to run. 3-4 miles is a lot less fun in 80-85 degrees than 60-65 degrees. Sigh.


I also mopped the kitchen floor this morning, and in doing so, moved all the chairs, and my roommate's sneakers were that were on the floor. I'm really, really glad that I didn't find out until afterward that last night she had a patient puke all over the floor when they went to intubate him. Ick.


And with that, a friend just texted, it's time to hit the pool. Happy Saturday! :)

Why You Should Not Bring Your Parent with You to Visit Graduate Schools

Bottom line: because it make you look bad. Sometimes, really, really bad.

Our first of two recruiting weekends was this past weekend, and we had not one, but two students show up with their fathers. Along with getting obliterated the night before and being visibly hungover at faculty interviews, being blatantly racist or homophobic, or being whiny and demanding, bringing your parent(s) with you on grad school recruiting visits is a giant "no-no." (I'm not the only one out there who thinks so.)

Every now and then we've had students come with a parent, but the parents have never before actually attended all the weekend's events with their child. For example, last year we had the crazy case of a 17 year old being admitted. I get that his mom came with him, he wouldn't have been able to check into the hotel room by himself. (Not that the understandable reason stopped us from mocking him behind his back.) Most of the time a parent comes with their kid to Tucson they come to maybe the first and last dinner of the weekend, but otherwise spend the weekend playing golf or something - not going to poster sessions and department tours!

The guy that came this weekend - he and his dad were actually ok. He was polite, interested in talking to grad students, and seemed to be able to function with out his father. His dad was friendly, and even though he wanted to attend all sorts of events, he made sure we knew that he didn't want to intrude, and had no expectation of attending the interviews with faculty Saturday morning. I think he just wanted an excuse to leave the cold, snowy weather and hang out with his son.

The girl and her dad however? Ho. Ly. Crap. I'll find out next week, but I'm 99% sure she's not going to get a financial offer. The students that we invite for recruiting weekend have already been admitted, however their financial offer is not determined until after we meet them. Not making a financial offer is (almost always) an effective way to discourage socially inept and/or terrible people from coming - basically to correct for the shortcomings that weren't evident on paper.

Her dad was the epitome of overbearing, controlling parent. When given the chance to chat with current grad students and ask questions (something at least as important as talking to the professors) she passed and sat in the corner with her dad. He actually got ANGRY when he was told (and he had to be told!) that he could not attend his daughter's individual meetings with faculty. Really dude? Are you going to attend her job interviews, too? Perhaps come to the lecture hall with her the first Thursday night of every month for the cume?

She was a stuck up little brat, too, for lack of a better description. Friday there's a poster session, after which all the recruits are supposed to list 6 faculty with whom they'd like to talk further the next morning. She only listed 2. As usually happens when students don't list 6 (but they're almost always close at least, sheesh), we fill in the rest of their schedule with other faculty from their division of interest. Saturday morning, she AND her dad both threw fits when they discovered that she had been assigned additional meetings! (Her dad still came to campus with her even after being told he couldn't attend the meetings. The guy's dad was smart enough to hang out at the hotel for the morning.) At that point our grad program coordinator had had it with them and said fine, don't go, but perhaps you should realize that these are the people that will be teaching your classes, writing and grading your cumes, and sitting on your dissertation committee. (i.e. It would be in your best interest to be polite and professional!!!)

At that point both she and her father tried to backtrack and hem and haw like "oh we didn't know that..." Like that's any excuse. First, if you don't at least realize that you will be taking classes from these professors, you're a moron and/or had crappy advisors in undergrad. And second, at the very least you should show some shred of professionalism!!! What is wrong with these people!? I'm guessing that this girl is sufficiently dysfunctional to have wound up without a financial offer even if she had come on her own, but bringing her overbearing, pushy, and rude father with her was shooting herself in the foot.

When prospective grad students come to campus, we (and by "we" I mean faculty, relevant staff, current grad students, and particularly the people from each category on the admissions committee) want to see that the recruits are interested and engaged in the science that goes on here, have the communication and social skills to explain what they currently do and/or are interested in doing, and are reasonably polite and professional in their interactions. Getting a PhD is all about becoming an independent researcher and scientist. If you can't get through this weekend without your parent half a step behind to beat up anybody who doesn't give you your way, you're not going to fare well in grad school. Do you think the professors are going to respond well to an angry phone call from daddy when you fail a cume? Even if you did beat the extremely low odds and manage function on your own, everybody around you will make fun of you mercilessly behind your back for being unable to make your own decision about this at age 20-something. This girl will forever be known as the brat with the overbearing father.

This rant doesn't mean that your parents can't be involved in your decision-making process. I included my parents, but by "included" I mean I called home a day or two after each trip I made to tell them about what I liked or didn't like and to hash-out general impressions. Once my parents realized I wasn't moving any closer to them, they didn't care where I went beyond my relative happiness there. When I had narrowed it down and was debating between two schools I discussed pros/cons with both of my parents over a few more phone calls. They both have advanced degrees, so they offered input where relevant, but other than declaring that a dry heat can't possibly be all its cracked up to be, never pushed me one way or another. Actually to this day I don't know if they secretly had a preference which school I chose.

After this ridiculous encounter with these people I actually wrote my parents an email thanking them for letting me do $h!t on my own and figure things out for myself. Thanks to their not holding my hand every bit of the way I came out of the grad school application process with a far better offer than I ever would have if they had.

Hm. What next? Part II

So in thinking more about what I want to do "when I grow up," and in seeking advice/information on various options, I've decided it could be helpful to think about what I want in a job.

Based on my last post on this subject, it's fairly clear that I want a job where:

• I generally like my co-workers. I realize there's always going to be the one (or more) person I absolutely can't stand, or drives me up the wall, but it's important to me that for the most part, I like my co-workers and enjoy working with them. It would be the pits to loathe the people with whom I spend 40+ hours a week.
• It is feasible to have balance between work and family/private/home life. As I said before, my career is important to me, but so is family - the family I already have and the family I someday hope to have. Both my parents have advanced degrees and have/had high-level, demanding jobs. Granted Dad's job has always been considerably more flexible and "9-5" than Mom's (night and weekend call is certainly an obstacle to flexibility), but I never felt neglected, or like I didn't see my parents enough, or like they weren't there for important things. So I guess my point is I know it's possible to have a successful career in science and still have a family, therefore I won't take (or stay in) a job that doesn't leave room for other priorities.
• I never become completely removed from the lab that my expectations are ridiculous. A lot of PhDs get sort of pushed into a management track, where it seems all too easy to lose understanding of what it takes to make something actually happen in lab. On one hand I like to be in charge because I like to be sure things are going to get done right (um yes, I can be somewhat bossy at times). Although the older I get the less I care because less and less often do I think the stress and pressure are worth it. Maybe someday management will be more appealing than it is now. I guess it's a good recent grads wouldn't start out in a position like that anyways. I also discovered during grad school that I really like to tinker. I enjoy disassembling, trouble-shooting, replacing parts, and reassembling the instrument. For now at least I want to be able to continue getting my hands dirty.
  

I think those factors will go a long way towards me being happy in my job. There are some other things to think about too.

• Travel. If you know me or have been reading this blog for a while, you've probably figured out that I'm a wee bit addicted. I love going to and experiencing new places. Most business trips likely wouldn't really allow time for sightseeing, but you still get the chance to meet and interact with people from somewhere different - something I almost always find interesting and valuable. And maybe I'm weird, but I always get this thrill just walking through the airport looking at all the gates as pass thinking, "Oo! I could go to Seattle! Or Memphis! Or Montreal! Or Tokyo! Or Cairo!" And the list goes on, and on, and on. Dad commutes to DC (from Boston) almost once a week. I don't think I really want to do that; it just seems draining. He takes a 6 or 7 am flight down and then gets home between 9 and 11 pm. And then goes to work at his normal 6 or 7 am the next morning! Besides, who wants to go to the same place over and over and over again? :P
• Benefits. Growing up we were very fortunate that we always had great health insurance as part of one parent or the others' benefits package. Now in grad school, paying too much for pretty mediocre insurance makes me really, really appreciate the value of good benefits. I'm really looking forward to having better health insurance, hopefully with vision, dental, and prescription included!! While we're at it, let's admit that money is nice, my travel addiction is expensive, and I'd like to think I will have toiled through let's not think about how many years of graduate school to make more than $30,000/year. Oh, and a decent amount of vacation time would be appreciated.
• Mass spec vs "other" analytical chemistry vs "other" chemistry. I'm pretty sure that I want to stay in mass spec. Most chemists seem to wind up in positions drastically different from their dissertation work. That's not necessarily a bad thing - I most definitely don't want to do the same thing forever. That said, I really like the wide variety of applications, instrumentation, and problems encountered in mass spectrometry. Which brings me to my next point,
• Variety. I absolutely do not want to do the same thing everyday for the next year, let alone the rest of my life.
• Learning opportunities. Whether that's in the form of in-house seminars and classes as very-BC talked about at lunch, attending conferences, training from instrument companies, and who knows what else. I certainly don't know everything I'll ever need to know, nor will I when I've actually finished this stupid degree.
• Interaction. As much as other people drive me crazy sometimes, I ultimately do want to interact with lots of people in my job. Working by myself all the time would get really boring really quickly. Fortunately science doesn't happen in a bubble.
• Application. I like coming to specific results or conclusions that can be of use to other scientists or people in the near-ish future. I loathe strictly theoretical or computational work. As an analytical chemist this isn't likely to be a problem. After all, the whole point of analytical chemistry is to measure stuff. I'm also really not attached to doing true research. I'm ok with more application-oriented problem-solving.
  

I'm sure there are other things I'm not thinking of now, and probably things I won't realize I care about or should have been thinking about until after I've had a "real, grown up" job for a while. This is a pretty extensive list though, and hopefully thinking about what I want from a job will help me decide what will be a good choice for me.

Eventually I'll get around to musing over various options...