Watch what you say.

Yesterday I was standing in the doorway to some friends' office, and a couple other friends were there, too. They all work in another analytical group downstairs from mine. One guy's wife is about 6 months pregnant with their 2nd, while another girl in there is about 3 months pregnant with her 1st. We had a conversation that went something like this:

Father-to-be: Oh Anne, [wife] had a dream last night that she went into labor, and that she called me here and was screaming at me to call you or [other friend] to go get [first child, now not quite 2].

Me: Haha, I was actually wondering what you were going to do with [first child] when [wife] went into labor. If you decide you want me to watch her that's fine with me, feel free to call whenever you need me.

Father-to-be: Ok, we'll have to see when family and stuff are coming to town, but [wife] doesn't really want them there until after, so we'll see.

Here we all have a general conversation about how the idea of having your parents, in-laws, siblings, grandparents, etc IN the delivery room is soooooo weird. And that the people who videotape deliveries are even weirder. Because really, who on earth would EVER want to watch that afterward?!

Father-to-be: I figure this time will be like the last time. She'll face that way [gesturing], I'll sit up by her head and face this way [gesturing], I'll just stroke her head or do whatever she tells me to do, but I'm NOT looking at the business end.

Mother-to-be: No kidding. I already told [husband] that he is NOT allowed to look.

Me: I totally agree. If I ever have kids I don't want my husband to see anything because I'd like him to want to have sex with me again someday.

Other grad student [looking over my shoulder into the hall]: Oh hi, [advisor].

I whipped around totally panicked and turned BRIGHT red, and was VERY thankful to discover that she was just messing with me and that their advisor (and my committee member) was not standing there.

I probably shouldn't make fun of my sister's gullibility anymore.