Academia is even dumber.

Within the span of 48 hours:

Monday night I realized that I've been put on the department colloquium schedule without any notice.

Because I won that award/competition last year, I'm supposed to give colloquium at some point this year.  Colloquium is the department-wide seminar series, usually with outside, already-PhD-having speakers, as opposed to the mostly student seminar series within each division.  But I never got put on the colloquium schedule, and since I only got "half won" and got half the prize money, and giving my final seminar in the Analytical seminar series would be less scary, I didn't complain.  Some time late last semester I got put on the Analytical seminar schedule for the last week of April.  Then last week I talked to the Queen, and we decided to just wait until I defend this summer and give my final seminar then.  So I got removed from the Analytical schedule, and the date was given to somebody else who wanted it.  Sounds good.

Monday night, E sends me a message asking if I knew I was scheduled to give colloquium May 3rd.  No.  No, I didn't know that.  Yesterday I asked the Queen if she had meant for that to happen.  Nope, she didn't know anything about it either.  If E hadn't happened to look at the colloquium schedule a month from now, see my name, think that was odd, and ask if I knew about it, I wouldn't have had any idea until the Friday before.  At which point I would have thrown a royal fit.  I am NOT giving a 50 minute, department-wide seminar with less than a week's notice.  Who on earth thinks that it's appropriate to schedule a student for that kind of presentation without ever informing them or their advisor???

Wednesday night I realized that neither the department nor the university think I'm graduating.

Tiff and I were having another dissertation date last night, and she said something about somebody from the Grad College harassing her for her dissertation title, because something or other couldn't be printed until she had it.  Ummm, what?  Nobody has asked for my dissertation title.  Tiff had another email just that afternoon about commencement - what time to show up, the requirement to wear and cap and gown to be hooded, etc.  I haven't had a single email about commencement.  And come to think of it, my invitation to the department awards/commencement lunch said I was invited because of a couple of awards.  Not because I'm a graduating student.  WTF.  Even my invitation to the department awards/commencement lunch only mentioned a couple of awards, nothing about being a graduating student.

This morning I frantically went to our grad program coordinator, and sure enough, my "committee appointment form" never got filed with the graduate college.  No idea how or why.  Apparently it should have been filed at least 6 months before I plan to defend (we're definitely within that window now, considering my funding runs out in 4 months).  When I asked how I was supposed to know to do that, I was told that now it happens automatically when you pass your oral.  Yeah.  I passed my oral three years ago.  It sounds like the process for this form changed sometime while I've been in grad school and I slipped through the cracks.  Awesome.  The form got submitted this morning.  Hopefully people get their shit together and my name gets read and is listed in the program.  Because I want to be hooded damnit.  And should my parents actually get their act together and come out here for commencement, I sure as hell want my name in the program, because I'm the one who's going to have to listen to my mother bitch about it if it's not.  ARRGGGGHHHH!!!!