Best. Seminar. Orientation. Ever.

At the beginning of every school year, instead of having regular colloquium (department-wide seminar with an external, invited speaker), we have "seminar" orientation. The faculty remind us that we're obligated to go to colloquium every week, as well as our division's seminar, the first year students introduce themselves, and then we all go to Gentle Ben's for a jolly good time.

The first years are usually pretty entertaining as many of them are quite awkward, but this years introductions were particularly hilarious. They were told to tell us their name, where they're from, and something interesting or funny about themselves.

Student #1: Hello, my name is _____, I'm from Ghana, the country that eliminated yours from the World Cup.
Student #2: Hello, my name is _____, I'm from Guyana, not Ghana.

(These really were the first two students to introduce themselves.)

1st Year Student: My name is _____, and I'm from Kentucky, which in and of itself should be interesting to the people in this room.
2nd Year Student, VERY excited: I'm from Kentucky, too!
1st Year Student: Yes, I know, so I guess it's not interesting for you, just for the rest of the people in the room.
2nd Year Student: Yeah, I know, and we're probably cousins.
1st Year Student: We're all cousins.

At this point, my advisor, who is also department chair, is standing in the corner behind the 2nd year student. She quietly taps this student on the shoulder and whispers, "I'm from Kentucky, too."

At least the 12th first year to introduce himself: Um, what are the rules?

First year: My name is ____, and I'm from Mexico. And, um, I speak much better Spanish than English.

First year: My name is ____, and I'm from Kenya - the country that fathered your president.

First year, teeny tiny, very petite girl: My name is ____, and I'm from India. And I really like to talk.

First year: My name is ____, and I'm also from India. And something interesting about me...hm...I'm a runaway from an arranged marriage!

Holy crap. At this point there's a whole mixture of reactions, from laughter, to dropped jaws, to applause. That's probably the craziest thing I've heard in quite a while. Ran away to graduate school to escape an arranged marriage!